I didn't shave. On purpose
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
