I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Randomize
