just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
