Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
