I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
she looked like the before picture.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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