Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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