But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
