He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
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Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
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Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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