We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
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