I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
