There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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