Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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