I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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