I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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