R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize