I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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