i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
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