My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
