Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
