get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
She announced her abortion via fbk
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
