Do you still have your period?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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