garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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