the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Randomize
