guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
