Its about making memories worth repressing
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
