He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
