used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
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