i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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