Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
