I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
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