i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
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The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
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Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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