i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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