At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
