I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
