Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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