Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
