We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
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Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
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You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
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