Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
