I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
and you fell through a lawn chair
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
