Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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