I'd wear matching sweaters with you
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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