batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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