I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
