They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I'm too high and old for this...
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
