You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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