I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
