On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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