No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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