So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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