So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
