I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
