I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
