Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
