Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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