Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
True strength comes from lack of pants
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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