we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
