Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
