This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
