Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
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so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
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She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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