I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
