You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
