you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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