Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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