Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
