You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Did we literally take a cab across the street
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
false alarm, still single
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