Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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