I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i need an iv and a liver transplant
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
