I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
