addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
